Well since being fired more than four weeks ago...the stories and BS are piling up in my head...so you're welcome! You are the winner of all the crazy Sh*t that runs through my brain at any given moment.
First, "Hi" My name is Jeremy. I live in Chicago. I am a mountain of a man...six foot three and about three bills...the guy people use as a measuring stick..."The guy was HUGE...I mean HUGE...bigger than you Jeremy..." Gee thanks...I love being a unit of measuring people
I am a late thirties dude (most aptly describes me), married and father of two. The fact that I'm a father blows me away. Mostly because I find myself, a large child that is allowed to drink and browse the internet for the most terrible of things. However, I'm happy to report that I'm actually a pretty good Dad. So please no calls to CPS - at least not quite yet!
Just 24 hours ago, I accompanied my son, age 7, on a field trip to the Chicago Botanical Gardens. Do yourself a favor and do this. Not with 90 screaming and running chimpanzees that I had the pleasure to do it with...but you know what I am saying. Anyhoo, on the trip I found myself surrounded by dozens of kids who thought all my PG Rated jokes were hilarious. I mean I dropped the "Is your fridge is running? joke on them and almost felt like Eddie Murphy in Delirious.
I didn't drop any F bombs for the duration, a feat for those who know me as INCREDIBLE. I learned to swear from my loving sweet southern raised mother who could weave a tapestry of dirty words but some how make it sound nice. Kind of like the British...skilled in the arts of dirty words...and making it sound classy!
But during the trip, I found myself thinking, I'm actually okay at this. I have killed no kid, lost no kid, and even may have taught a thing or two.
This is another impressive feat because I am a born and gifted self loather. A black belt of self loathing...I HATE most things about myself. It's fun and has turned into a sport for me. A pass time if you will. A Hobby...something to...you know...do for fun!
And for those out there, that are fellow self loathers...welcome! We can hate ourselves together! Oh I'm also the common type of loather that dislikes most other people...which is shocking to most because I'm an attention whore. I mean I love to stand in the middle of a group pushing the envelope...which come to think of it is why I probably got sh*t canned. But I digress. I actually love people...people watching that is. Have you taken the time to look around lately? A myriad of bad tattoos, T-shirts and brightly colored nails, chipped during their days of frolicking through Walmart buying sh*t they don't need...
In all, this little address on the inter webs is going to be my tiny beacon of light...the light that comes from a dude's cellphone in the middle of the night while scouring the job sites for an employer...
Until next time my fine feathered friends....
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